Sunday, April 04, 2004

sunday is passing by rather slower than past sundays.
the angry phase is subsiding. but the sad phase is coming up. the cycle will go on and on.

you didnt want to meet me because you dont want to dump me? is that right?
in other words, that means, "i dont want to dump you because i want to keep on pretending i love you because it just kicks the shit out me."

bad sunday.
closed my eyes and buried my face in my hands. the tears just wont stop. hoping so much that when i open my eyes the whole world will just crash right before my eyes.
i left you before you left me. but leaving you was already fucking painful. but you wouldnt know cos you dont fucking give a damn. i didnt even want to leave you. but soon enough the whole paranoia revealed to be upsettingly true. so i guess it wasnt my mistake.

i never felt so much pain before. this is new. this feeling of my insides being squeezed by a big dumb gorrilla.heh.
i feel lower than dirt. and everybody is just dancing on my face. i will go on and on. endless rantings of the same old story and emotions that is sucking on my every blood. i look like trash now. oh the horror, the horror.

being good and kind gets you nowhere nowadays uh. sincerety is suspicious and honesty is an illusion. love is obviously blind and again. to love is to hate. oh well...

im going out tomorrow to do some reading and writing. and maybe killing, if i have the time.


ladollyvita at 8:30 PM