Friday, April 02, 2004

oh well. tragic isnt it. a twisted tragic story.

guess whats worse than your boyfriend cheating on you for another woman?
your boyfriend cheating on you for another man.

i just found out. this will take me awhile to comprehend and analyze these words,
trust.
love.
paranoia.
loyalty.
love.
love.
love.
love.

dont tell me you know how i feel. how can someone who is not blind, understand and feel someone who is blind? its never possible. unless you are blind too, then you will know how a blind man really feels. so only alvidah should know this disgusting feeling i have.

this is an embarassing situation. tragic. yet humiliating. i will go on and on about the amount of trust ive wasted on these two people.

rafiqin, no wonder you looked pale after reading that note i gave you on valentines day. because you know damn well how much i trusted and loved you. all those words, they have meanings and i meant it all. when i said i love you its not because i just want to say it, its because i always do. but when you say it, its because you just want to have a great laugh in the end.

paranoid? you dare to tell me im paranoid? FUCK YOU, YOU FAGGOT BONER.
you know it wasnt my paranoia. you know i was right. my senses. it was true.

nothing will change anything now. even if i curse you, spit at you, cry in front of you, beat the living crap out of your gay ass. nothing will. dont bother to do prayers qin, you're just going to be in deeper hell. cik kak, bulan puasa tak payah puasa..tak payah nak buat baik...tak payah pergi belajar ugama...tak guna qin. tak guna terus.

i didnt want you back. but you came back under my fucking window in the fucking rain. telling me all the shit that you really like me. it was just one of those shows. and naively and pathetically i believed every word you said. then came the twisted part, you got bored of me. you simply did. so you went for your best friend, your lover, your gay lover.

cry.cry.cry.cry.cry.
have you ever cried before qin? do you know how to cry?

i made a song though, i'll play it for you one day. its called
my ex-boyfriend is gay and he cheated on me for his best friend. nope. im not kidding. its a really cute song. fucking bastard.

just emotions. they're just swirling around me now. you cant blame me for this immature entry, i just found out he cheated on me for another boy. have a sense of sympathy for me, please.


ladollyvita at 8:43 AM