Sunday, April 04, 2004

look at that.

"i didnt cheat on you nor did i did anything behind your back"

look at that.

"be wary of the frivolous"

look at that.

"scartch your eyeball from the back."

look at that.

lets play a guessing game...who is lying?
a) my gay ex boyfriend
b) my gay ex boyfriend's lover
c) my gay ex boyfriend and his lover

qin...
how can you be so numb? even your boyfriend apologized to me. but you, you just always think you are always right. that ego. that 'oh how i dont care about the world because im just plain gay and stylish' attitude.

like always...you did nothing wrong..."my assumption took center stage"? what the fucking hell was that? you fuck a guy way before i assume anything...and you did things with him way before i assume anything. your gayness have been on stage way before you met me.

humour me and tell me more lies darling.

scratch my eyeballs from behind? hahahahahhaha~
i dont understand how you can deny this and how you cannot feel at least a bite of sadness or sorryness.
look at you, strutting your gay ass to the world pretending you are strong and so full of yourself that being sad is just foreign to you.

why do you have to do this to me, qin.
leading me on to believe that we were both in love.
using me like im some kind of cover up for your gay self.
pretending to love me when you dont.
and you tell me not to curse you for the heartaches?
who else should i curse?
the men who always see me cry under the block with ciggerette buds all over the place?
should i blame him instead?
or that boy who stood in the rain under my window, pretending to love me?

i guess im sorry, qin.
sorry to love you.
sorry to be such an irritant in your ever so gay life.
sorry to care for you.
sorry to try so hard to make this disgusting pain go away.
sorry to curse you for cheating on me for a boy.
sorry to even touch you.
sorry to try to give you anything you want.
sorry to cry.


ladollyvita at 1:30 PM